Later...

Hermione:  "Sometimes I wish I were a duck.  A duck who liked to quack (QUACK QUACK!).  A duck I am, a duck I'll be, just let me smile duck-ily!  Oooh, I wish I were a duck.  A duck who liked to quack (QUACK QUACK!  Oh dear, I must find Harry.  I'm making up songs about ducks."  *sighs*

Hermione:  "Harry, HARRY!  I have this funny story to tell you!  You see, in your absence, I started acting like a duck and-"

Harry:  "Look... I am not in the mood to talk about your problems."

Hermione:  "Oh, but you'll read this book instead of listening to my problems?"

Harry:  "Sorry, but there's a limit on to how many times I can listen about your PMS."

Hermione: "So you're reading about Surrogate Mothering instead?  Harry, is there something you want to tell us?  And to be a surrogate mother, you have to be a WOMAN.  See, it's this procedure where another woman wants to have a baby, but can't.  So she signs a contract with another woman who will-"

Harry:  "NO I DO NOT WANT TO BE A SURROGATE MOTHER!"

Ron:  "Crap, you have to be a woman to do that?  Uh oh..."

Harry:  "Hermione, I am afraid that Umbridge was my surrogate mother."

Hermione:  "Uh...."

Ron:  "Oohh, this armrest is comfy!"

Hermione: "Harry, you do realize that Umbridge can't possibly be your surrogate mother.  First of all, your dad would have to agree and secondly, I don't think Umbridge is capable of actually giving a baby.  I mean, the baby would be taller than herself!"

Harry:  "Oooh, you're holding my hand!"  *squeals*

Ron:  "I ain't no hollaback girl.  I ain't no hollaback girlllll."

Hermione:  "Oh, Harry, your hands are like those of my grandmother.  Can we please get you to start using lotion?"

Harry:  "I don't want lotion, darn it!  And give me back my book!"

Ron:  "You two are bananas.  B A N A N A S!"

Hermione: "Harry, let's just forget this whole thing.  Why don't we just make out?"

Harry:  "I'm not really in the mood."

Hermione:  "But you're always in the mood!"

Ron: "I love Gwen Stefani and her L.A.M.B, she knows who I am!"

Harry:  "Ron, would you STOP quoting Gwen Stefani?!"

Ron:  "WIND IT UPPPP!"

Hermione: "Just ignore him, too.  In fact, let's just ignore everyone!  That's what you want, isn't it Harry?"

Harry:  "Hermione, you know perfectly well that I'm just pretending to be annoyed by you two so that the Gwen Stefani lover will go away and you'll stay here with me, like you always do when I'm annoyed/angry, and then you can hold my hand some more."

. . .

Harry:  "There, Ron left.  Aren't I smart?"

Hermione: "Why, yes, yes you are.  When did this start?"

Harry:  "I dunno, it's like... something has suddenly clicked in my mind."

Hermione: "Well, see, Umbridge CAN'T be your mother!  She is WAY too stupid for a brain like yours!"

Harry:  "I guess you're right.  You have big enough brains for both of us, you know that?"

Hermione:  "Yes I do.  So want to snog already?  I've been wanting to for the last thirty minutes and-"

Harry:  "I mean, you always are looking out for me.  You always are being so nice and clever and smart and fun and beautiful and I just don't think I deserve it.  I'm having the male form of PMS, I suppose, but it's driving me crazy!  Why do I feel like I just want some chocolate?!"

Hermione: "Geez, get some Midol or something.  I just want to kiss you!"

Harry:  "Oh, good idea!" *goes off to look for some*

Hermione:  "CRAP.  Why did I just tell him to go look for Midol!?"

Ron: "What's Midol...?"

Hermione:  "God, Ron, you're such a BOY.  Go Wikipedia it or something!"  *leaves*

Ron:  "What's Wikipedia...?"

Harry goes off on an epic journey to try to find some Midol.  Little does he know where to actually find it.

Harry: "I need some Midol!  I wonder what Midol is, though?  I wish I would have stayed long enough with Hermione to find this out..."

Harry:  "Oh well.  Nothing a walk in a scary forest that is filled with wild animals and evil spirits can't solve!"

Harry stumbles upon Luna, and asks if she knows where Midol is.

Harry:  "Oh, so THIS is Midol?"

Luna:  "Midol?  Harry, you have just named this threstal!  I love it!  Midol you shall be, little horsey!"

Harry:  "I had no idea Midol would be so.... big...."

Luna:  "Well, yes.  Not a lot of people have seen Midol here."

Harry:  "But it relieves my PMS?"

Luna:  "Harry, you stupid boy.  Boys can't get PMS!"

Harry: "But Hermione-"

Luna:  "WAS JOKING.  As in HA HA funny?  No?  Well then.  Maybe you doooo need some pharmaceutical drugs.  You are as demented as I am!  Imagine, keeping a name like Midol for this animal."

Harry:  "I'll never be able to understand girls..."

Luna: "It's easy... just buy us chocolate and tell us we're pretty!"

Harry: "But what would chocolate-"

Luna:  "Just do it!"

The set of recaps is brought to you by Midol- Let your PMS be controlled and your bloating be less!