Hermione: "I'm glad Sirius forgot what he was talking about.  He obviously doesn't want to tell Harry anything."

Ron: "I wish I could wear pink..." *cries*

Harry: "Er.... where did Hermione and Ron go?  HELLLLLOOOOOO??  What's going on here?!?"

Ginny: "HARRY, why must you always ignore me??"

Harry: "Oh, hey Ginny.  I see you did something different with your hair..."

Ginny: "DO YOU LIKE IT????"

Harry: "Well, it's not like you could have gotten any uglier... you were pretty bad as it was.  And where's Hermione??"

Sirius: "I can answer that question.  You see, I sent Hermione off to an alternate universe where she was with Ron, and not you."

Harry: "WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU DO THAT??"

Sirius: "Because I wanted you to see for yourself how much Ron/Hermione sucks.  Like, seriously, if the thought of it repulsed you, I bet you can't even imagine the horridness of Hermione's experience.  Besides, I stopped time in this world so any moment now she shall be returning for her adventure."

Hermione: "Er.... you guys?  WHY DID I HAVE RON AS MY BOYFRIEND?? I don't even LIKE redheads!  What's going on?? Where is my true love??  HARRY!"

Sirius: "See? I told you this would be a good experiment for all of us."

Harry: "GET YOUR HAND OFF MY SHOULDER!  How dare you take away my Hermione time for THAT!  I'm leaving!"

Sirius:  *cries*

Okay, now we are back at Hogwarts.  Magically, of course, because how else would we have suddenly arrived here?  And I swear, this building is made from Legos.... It looks JUST like the models my brother made!

Cho: "Like, OMG!  It's, like, so totally awesome that I ran into you!"

Harry: "Uh.... well if you say so."

Hermione: "HARRY!!!!! Why are you with HER??!  She's so.... Cho-ish!  I'm the brains and the beauty here!  Let's go snog!"

Cho: "You aren't really going to leave me... are you...?"

Harry: "..."

Harry: "BYE LOSER FACE!!!" *runs away*

Both Harry and Hermione run like the wind to a quiet place to snog.

Hermione: "Oh, shoot.  Hagrid is back!"

Harry: "Noooooooooooooooooo!"

Ron: "I feel like I shouldn't be here...?"

Ron: "I'm just going to leave now...."

Hagrid: "I like steak."

Hermione: "Very good Hagrid.  Can you say any other sentences?"

Ron: "God, why did I get stuck here?"

Hagrid: "I like steak.  RAWRRR!"

Hermione: "Oh, dear.  This is going nowhere, is it?"

Ron: *sleeps*

Harry: "Gosh, shave, will you??"

Geez.  Talk about needing to shave.  I bet her leg hair is quite hideous.

Neville: "I feel like somewhere, very far away, a woman who desperately needs to shave is plotting revenge for being in Azkaban for torturing my parents to insanity and committing countless other crimes."

Random girl: "Wow, what a weirdo.  Who thinks like that?"

Boy up front: "Yeah, really. I have a feeling this food is all fake... See? I poke it and it doesn't move!"

Hermione: "Oh, I'm so mad!  Somebody just told me that I dye my hair!!!  MY HAIR COLOR IS COMPLETELY NATURAL!"

Seamus: "Well, you have roots about half the time in the movie, and your eyebrows are dark."

Hermione: "Say that to my face, will yah??"

Seamus: "YOU DYE YOUR HAIR!!!  It's a fact!  You should just admit it instead of lying all the time!  Just like I should admit that this accent of mine is fake!  I'm not really Irish!!!"

Ron: "Uh... your accent is fake...?"

All: *stare*

Seamus: "Uh.... and also, my tie isn't supposed to be this short.  I cut it this way to look cool.  And I don't understand why people keep laughing at me.... aren't I cool to be wearing this tie??  And also.... Hermione's hair is fake!!!  Natural blondes have a VERY low percentage of having brown eyes! And your hair was obviously brown in the first two movies!!"

Harry: "Wow, Hermione, I didn't know your hair color was fake."

Hermione: "Uh... uhhh...." *shifty eyes*   "Well, isn't his tie so ugly??"

Later...

Neville: "I still feel like there is a murderous witch after me.  I mean, why do I keep thinking this?"

Harry: "Uh..... okay......"

Harry's nose suddenly gets picked by some random short girl.

Harry: "WOW that was awkward!"

Hermione: *does a hair flip in hopes of being in the new L'Oreal commercial*

Notice that her Patronus spell is an OTTER?  As in pOTTER?  yeahhhhhh cool!

Ron: "Oh, pretty! I never noticed the chandelier before!  It's quite nice, no?"

Hermione: "Why do I feel like something bad is about to happen?"

Ron: "Because you're stupid.  NOTHING is going to happen!  In fact-"

BOOOOOOOM!

Hermione: "You were saying?"

Ron: "... never mind."

Umbridge: "HA!!! You all are making happy little silver animals come out of your wands!!  THAT IS AGAINST SCHOOL CODE!  There is NO HAPPINESS allowed here!  HAHAHAHAHAHHAH!"

Draco: "I'm awesome."

Cho: "I feel bad that I ratted you all out.  Oh well... at least I'm not in trouble.  Woo!"

Harry: "God, Cho.  Why would you rat us all out?"

Cho: "Well, you weren't spending enough timeeee with me!!!"

Harry: "That's because I have a GIRLFRIEND!"

Cho: "I feel bad."

Harry: "YOU SHOULD!"

Cho: "Do you... still want to be friends?"

Harry: "NO!"

Percy: "Can I have her then?"

Cho: "Uh.... aren't you a Weasley??"

Dumbledore: "Wanna see uh magic trick, yo??"

Crowd: "Uh... sure?"

Dumbledore: *bursts into flame*

Harry: "ZOMG WTF???"

Guys: "DUDE, he wasn't supposed to die until the next movie!"

Ron: "Huh.  I think Dumbledore actually died."

Hermione: "Nah, he'll come back later to help Harry."

Harry: "Er... help Harry do what...?"

Umbridge: "I love going to the bathroom on this amazing toilet.  It used to be Dumbledore's, but now that he is gone, I can use it in peace."

Twin: "Why must we WATCH her use the toilet?  This is a disgusting detention!"

Cho: "I miss our friendship."

Harry: "What friendship?? You ratted us out, AND you tried to kiss me back during Christmas time!  And you weaseled your way out of a detention with Umbridge, in which she made us watch her use the golden toilet!"

Later...

Harry: "I AM SICK OF HAVING TO WATCH UMBRIDGE USE THE BATHROOM!"

Hermione: "I'm sick of us always having our eyes closed!"

Harry: "Maybe I'll pretend to have teenage angst and feel sorry for myself in hopes that the audience watching will like me."

Hermione: "C'mon.  You have been doing this for the past 4 movies and you have yet to accomplish this."

Harry: "Look, I'm just trying to get us more viewers!  I haven't had a pay raise in years!"

Hermione: "Oh no, it looks like we are going to get transported into the Forest!"

Hermione: "Why must I always be right?" *sigh*

Harry: "Why are we here, Hagrid??"

Hagrid: "I like steak.  Oh, and I want you all to meet my brother."

Hermione: "OMG!  It's, it's... a giant!"

Harry: "Huh.  It's not as big as I thought it would be."

Ron: "That's what she said."

Giant: "Hi.  I look like the boy from Mad Magazine.  You know... their mascot?  Anyone?  No?  Well, go Google it if you are unsure."

Giant: "It is a pleasure to meet you." *shakes hand*

Hermione: "Er.... thanks."

Harry: "Wow, he speaks better than Hagrid..."

Hagrid: "Isn't he cute?"

Giant: "I have a bit of a belly.... but I feel like I live above the standards that most people apply to Giants.  I am most talkative and polite.  I just need to by a t-shirt or perhaps a Burberry suit."

Ron: "Psh. As if you can afford a Burberry suit." *pouts*

Hermione: "I like a man in suits..."

Harry: "Oh great, does that mean I need to buy one?"

Hermione: "No... just saying..."

Harry: "Fine! I'll buy a suit! Geez!"

Hermione: "Thanks!"  XOXO