And off they run in order to not get caught with all of that trash.  Do keep in mind, that was a heck of a lot of trash.

Anybody wonder who taught Harry how to run?  I mean, his arms are sticking out everywhere.  And HE'S supposed to be our hero?? He looks like a robot, to tell you the truth.

What really bothers me is that Dudley was always supposed to be fat and slow and stupid, and yet HE'S the one who doesn't run like a robot and HE'S the one who can keep up with Harry's running.  Either Harry can't run fast AT ALL (so slow, in fact, that Dudley can keep up) or else Dudley deserves some recognition and should perhaps join the track team at school.

Harry:  "QUICK!  Let's run into this random building that is sure to bring about dreadful things!"

Dudley:  "Watch me flail my arms! Yay!"

And *why* did they run to here again?  It's at least 20x sketchier than standing outside in the nice rain.  Didn't they say that they were in a drought?  So wouldn't some rain be great?  Great going, Harry.  And with all of that graffiti, you KNOW something bad is going to happen.

Dudley: "Harry... we should probably get out of this tunnel where it is likely that we will get raped."

Harry:  *looks at audience*  "Listen up, kids.  If you are caught in the rain, do NOT run into some weird looking tunnel that is sure to lead to bad events.  Instead, be sure to pack an umbrella BEFORE you leave home, and if you have to run home that minute, DO IT!  Don't run to some random area that is sure to lead to horrific events."

Dementor:  "Like, OMG!  Harry!  Is that you??  I just got my nails done, but then it started raining!  Fancy seeing you here!!  Oooh, and who is your cute friend?"

Dudley:  "..."

Dudley:  "AHH!! Where are you taking me??"

Dudley:  "I DON'T WANT MY FIRST KISS TO BE FROM YOU!"

Dementor:  "Oh, pleaseee?"

Dudley:  "Kiss Harry! He's snogged Hermione enough (or so he says in his dreams).  He's a much better kisser than me!"

Demetor:  "Like, great!  Thanks for the tip, cutie!"

Dementor:  "Like, pucker up!"

Harry:  "Okay, look, when Hermione kisses me, she does NOT strangle me like this.  Believe it or not, this is quite uncomfortable."

Dementor:  "Is this better?"

Harry: "Yes, that's a bit better.  At least you aren't totally choking me...

Dementor:  "Okay!  Like, I hope my breath is minty-fresh.  I can't stand kissing anybody with bad breath!"

Harry:  "No, yours is pretty good.  Were you chewing cinnamon gum?"

Dementor:  "Oh, you noticed!  Let's totally snog now!"

Harry:  "WAIT A MINUTE!  I have a girlfriend!  I can't kiss you!"

Dementor:  "Why notttt?"

Harry:  "She'd get jealous!"

Dementor:  "I won't, like, tell if you won't."

Harry:  "NO!" *stabs wand in Dementor's eye*

Dementor:  "Like, OWWW!  OH EM GEE that hurt!  How could you??  This isn't over!  I loveeeeeee you!"

Dementor:  *runs/flies away crying*

Mrs. Figg:  "Harry?  Were you about to cheat on your girlfriend??"

Harry:  "Uh... no....?"

Mrs. Figg:  "Good! Then pretend like you weren't by "helping" Dudley."

Harry:  "Like this?"

Mrs. Figg:  "Well, I suppose that will have to do though now it looks like you two were the ones kissing each other.  C'mon, now, let's get you two lover boys back home."

Harry:  *thinks*  Oh my gosh.  Am I gay?  What will Hermione say about this?  Will my whole reputation be tainted?  I don't want to like boys!

Harry:  "Mrs. Figg?  Is there a way to tell if you are... homosexual... or not?"

Mrs. Figg:  "Oh, wow, I do NOT need to be talking about this."

Dudley: *thinks* Crap, Harry is gay?  Is this why he's holding onto my arm like this?

Harry:  "Really, I need help!"

Mrs. Figg:  "Well, you don't FEEL gay..."

Harry:  "You can tell if I'm gay by just touching me??"

Dudley:  *thinks* GOD SAVE ME!

Harry:  "Hellllllo?!"

Mrs. Figg:  "Look, next time you see Hermione, just ask yourself, "Would I rather be looking at a dude or her?" Works every time."

Dudley: *thinks*  Arggg, gross!

Soon:

Dudley:  "Harry was talking about gay stuff!"

Uncle Vernon:  "Oh, was he now?"

Harry:  "Look, I am just a bit confused, okay?"

Uncle Vernon:  "Like how I'm confused about my weight?  I think that using a smaller spoon will make me eat less, when in reality I eat the same amount.  Imagine that!"

Aunt Petunia:  "Or like how I'm confused about this dress?  On one hand, it has a nice print.  On the other hand, it's ridiculously short and is not appropriate for anybody over 15 years of age."