Rita pushes Harry into a dark broom closet... Huh.  Molestation alert!

Harry:  "Ermmm... this is a dark broom closet."

Rita:  "I know."  *sniffs Harry*

Harry:  "Ummmmm..."

Harry:  "No, seriously, why are we in here?"

Rita:  "Because I like you!"

Harry:  "Ewwwww." 

Rita:  *makes a kissy noise at poor Harry*

Rita:  *winks at Harry*

Harry:  "Urg!  Gross!  I would NEVER go out with you!"  *runs to Hermione, but realizes that she is at home for the week.  Darn.  So instead he will just get some advice from a bird.*

Whoa.  Where did that tower come from?!  That most certainly wasn't in the other movies!!!!

Bird:  "First off, I would like to be called Shameeka.  And secondly, you must be pathetic for wanting to talk with an owl."

Bird (aka Shameeka):  "This Rita woman likes you, but only because she wants to write an article about it.  You know, something about "How Harry falls for every woman that gives him attention."   But look at Hermione!  She is obviously the right girl for you!  She actually RESPECTS you, which isn't even close to what other girls do.  I would ask her to the Yule Ball ASAP, even though she's already going with Viktor Krum."

Harry:  "She's going with Krum?"  *cries*

Shameeka:  "Pull yourself together!"

Shameeka:  "Just know that Hermione will always be there for you, no matter if she is going with a total hunk to a huge, extremely formal Ball in which she will probably look her best ever."

Shameeka:  "And with that, Harry, I bid you a farewell.  I shall not return.  Good luck."  *flies away*

Harry:  "Well... either I have a guardian bird... or I'm going mental."

*later*

Harry reads:  "Harry Potter, a boy of only 12 years old, was flirting with ME!  Rita Skeeter!  Will he fall for ANY woman who gives him attention?!"

Harry:  "Ooh, this is rubbish.  But at least they didn't write that I had talked to an imaginary bird named Shameeka..."

Sirius:  "Hey, psssst!"

Harry:  *thinks before going to the bathroom*  Whoa.  Did someone have too many beans for dinner?  This thing in the toilet looks a bit like my godfather... huh.

Sirius:  "No, you fruitcake!  It's me!  Sirius!"

Harry:  "Ooh!   . . .    Why are you in a toilet?  It can't be very comfortable."

Sirius:  "You can't imagine the horrors I have witnessed."

Harry:  "Shooootttt!  Someone is coming!  I can't let them see me talking to a toilet!"

Sirius:  "Wait!  Don't go!  I need to tell you something important!"

Harry:  *slams toilet lid closed because...*

Ankle Lad is coming!  What shall Ankle Lad do today?  Bare a bare ankle at us?  Perhaps tell a "footy" joke?  Okay, enough with the bad puns.

Harry:  "I didn't know that you were Ankle Lad, Ron.  Wait until I tell everyone in the school!"

Ron:  "I didn't know that you talked to toilets.  Wait until I tell everyone at school!"

Harry: - from side-   "Fine, I won't talk about this if you won't."